InStyle

just to make sure that there is no doubt about my honorable intentions: i have given it a lot of thought and a great deal of consideration that maybe my mother's opinion is the right one. after all, she only wants the best for me. but now, after several years of hard work i can't help but draw the conclusion that there is no way around a new wardrobe every (or every other) season. i'm not a so-called fashion victim (i think) but for some reason - that has to be researched a little more - last year's dresses look absolutely hidious on me this year. of course i will blame this on the passing of time (no way they looked this way last year). there is no way i will show myself in public in something with sleeves so puffy i look like william shakespeare in his finest ballroom garment. (were these sleeves really in fashion at some point in recent history?) and to emphasize my point: even though i'm embarrassed beyond compare i will share this next piece of trivia with you. today i was seen in a plaid dress (and i'm not talking about a nice dress shirt kind of dress in a cute cowgirl style) bearing the colors prehistoric-algae blue and medium-strength-mustard green, aforementioned puffy sleeves, and pockets to store a small vaio laptop. (don't even ask me whoever had the idea to design one of these. i don't even dare answer the question who bought one of those. and: no, shame on me, it was not a gift.) the one good thing that could possible come from this period in my life is that now my closet will become a little emptier. i will not insist on keeping every single dress i bought since i was fourteen, even though they might be in fashion again soon. instead i will loudly insist on buying new dresses. no, mom, because the dress has the same color it does not look the same way. and, yes, mom, it is necessary that i buy a third black dress with those cute rhine stones along the hemline. (i guess if i don't eat for a while i might even be able to afford it.)

time and space

it's weekend. finally! i didn't really know stress before i started university. of course, i always said: i'm so stressed. or: don't stress me. or: i've got enough stress. but if you still have time two watch one or two episodes of gilmore girls every day you're not stressed out. now i start classes at ten o'clock. i get home a little after four which basically means that in the morning i don't get much done (i like to sleep in) and when i get home in the evening the day is almost over. so, i don't get anything done then either. the little time a have off i need to use to make some money (and the emphasis is on "some" as in almost nothing) to be able to put something aside for future tuition. i'm not complaining. i'm not completely miserable and that's great. i like what i'm doing - reading, writing, discussing theories and texts - but every friday i notice that i'm completely worn out from the week. it occurs to me that i haven't really done much homework during the week so all of it is stored for the weekend. basically, that means that my weekends don't contain much free time anymore. i get to the point where i have to take time. time to have breakfast with my roommate, time to watch a movie with her at least once a week, time to tend my farm on facebook. makes you wonder what this strange concept called time really is. i don't think there's ever been a period in my life where time has passed by so quickly. and word is that from here on it doesn't exactly get better. (-:

tension headache?

i just got back from my first "real" day of university and the word that wants to continously pop into my head is 'overwhelming'. i can't say it's different than what i expected. but i guess after more than just a little time of doing nothing too intellectually challenging it's definitely a big step. i'm not having very many problems with lectures you just show up to. sit down, sign your name, and doze off. this would be american literature and history and is actually very interesting. but after that my communication skills wnat to be developed and i need to be furthermore challenged with creative writing and research. all the professors make it clear, of course, that no one is trying to torture us. they want to educate us. and, honestly, i'm sitting here wanting to be educated. i already discover that this is very much what i am and like to do. if i think about it a little i can admit with relief that - if i had more free time - i would do exactly this: reading, writing, thinking and talking about myself, trying to make new and interesting friends and spend as much time as possible with people as intelligent as they come. i'll let this first week pass and try to relax myself a little bit. everything is going to be fine. i just know it.

scorpio, oct. 9th 2009 ... ha ...

You're tired of the same old, same old. The routine. You're so tired of it that in the middle of your intense little heart, you're quite sure that if you don't do something to change it soon, you won't be any good to anyone. Not yourself, not your loved ones and certainly not the people who depend on your keen intuition and impeccable work skills to get them through the day.

legendary

this week was my first week at the gottfried-wilhelm-leibniz-university in hannover, germany. i'm taking on the dangerous task of studying german and english. you could also say i'm selling my soul. i don't want to be a teacher which sets me apart from 90 % of my fellow students. my introduction classes both took about 120 minutes each and that was my tuesday. i refused to attend the rallye for freshmen when rumor spread that silly games and free beer are involved. i guess i'll just have to find another way to get to know the other kids. yesterday i talked to a friend who is starting law school this semester. her first lectures took up the past couple of days and will continue until the end of the week. one could ponder now about the difference of importance of our subjects. i, however, am really looking forward to people not constantly telling me how much responsibility my job brings into the picture. from now on i'll only do what i like and want. if life has taught me anything so far then it is that i should give following my dreams at least a try. so, here i am. ready to make history!